mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
