i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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