How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
