The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize