How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
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Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Come share oat with me in your robe
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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