so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
