I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
