We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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