So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
