I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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