My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
