How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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