Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize