so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
