he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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