I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
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oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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