you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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