I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
