I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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