Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
