is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize