I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
