I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
