the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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