i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I intend to get homeless drunk
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
