first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize