my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
