no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
