dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
