he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
why do cheetos always look like penises
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
