I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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