P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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