O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
