i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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