i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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