So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
