i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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