it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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