Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
