tell your sister to shave her snatch
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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