it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
