Porn is love you can see.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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