Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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