Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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