i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Panties = found
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
