The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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