this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
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the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
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Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.