Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.