Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄