God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle