i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
