All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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