ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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