That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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