i may or may not be watching the land before time
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
