She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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