Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
