Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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