Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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